Author Archives: Cyan Picard

A&P: More Like the Death of Me

Tis I, your trusty source for inaccurate information! This week we’re going to discuss a topic that’s very near and dear to my little o’l heart, A&P

Now, I love A&P don’t get me wrong but, I hate A&P. It was all fun and games at first, we had seven students in the class, which was surprising because there’s usually less, but we started out with seven promising students. And it was great, we cracked jokes with the teacher, we worked together to finish labs and packets, persuaded the teacher to postpone tests and quizzes.

But then second semester came.
Three students dropped out because they couldn’t handle the ever increasing workload, and the four of us that we’re left, quickly realized the mistake we had made by staying. Our situation could only be compared to that of the titanic. We were forewarned that this class was going to be hard, but this class was hard. Some of my classmates can often be found mumbling incoherently mantras that can be translated into different connecting regions of the body. Our poor history teachers board is constantly covered in Latin and Greek words with illegible definitions.
We have around two to three quizzes a week on topics that we barely comprehend using words that are physically impossible for us to pronounce. Or words that are relatively similar that you still get wrong, like, coracoclavicular, coracoacromial and coracohumeral. My jokes have evolved into that which can only be understood by a select group, making it impossible to connect with other members of the human race.
But on the bright side it’s not all bad, we still joke with the teacher (and by joke I mean she roasts us to no end), we’re still a close-knit group that works on our packets together and complains about other teachers with our teacher. And we’re doing dissections soon! (Cow brain here I come!)
But in the end, it’s all about what you’ve learned. This class has taught us how to manage ourselves in stressful situations while giving us necessary insight to what our college courses are going to be like. So I guess it turned out ok in the end.

Out of My Reach: Most Things

Oh hi, I betcha didn’t see me there did you? Or maybe you did and thought I was a child, or maybe you were just about to make a short joke. But trust me, I’ve heard it all. And since I’m tired of the dumb “you need to “rise up” to the occasion” or how “ I need to reach towards my goals” or my personal favorite “ my relationship with gravity is better than most” ,I thought I’d give you a little glimpse into my life as someone who’s height is below average in every country except Peru.

Let’s start with the basics, houses.
Every single cabinet in my house is my mortal enemy. As someone who is 5”1 I can’t reach anything. I’ve spent a good majority of my life jumping on counters to reach the food my normal sized parent have unconsciously put out of my reach, likewise I’ve spent a good majority of my life getting yelled at for jumping on the counters. “Why don’t I use a stepping stool?” You might ask? And the answer is because they don’t work, those extra four inches still leave my fingertips frantically grasping for the slippery surface of the peanut butter jar only to have it spin even further away.

Next we have clothes.
Fun fact about me, is that I love to bake, but because of my talent it has become my mortal enemy by giving me these things called hips and thighs. The petite section is where I shop because I’m short, but I frequently have to cuff my jeans and wear belts because they don’t fit. I can honestly say I have never owned a pair of pants that has fit me perfectly.

Moving on we have, human beings.
Excluding my friend Jiré, I am the shortest one out of my friends. The tallest one is Mariah, who is 5’10 and counting. And her favorite pastime is making jokes about my height and giving me nicknames. She’s still growing but I’m not, so she refers to me as “little one” and constantly says that I should just “stretch” if I need to reach something. If short people had a hit list, she’d be at the top. One of these days I will get my revenge. One. Day.

And last but not least is photos.
Let’s say you’re taking a selfie with your normal sized friends and one of them pulls out the selfie stick. You all crowd together and they take the photo, while you’re reviewing it you notice, you’re not there. You look closer and notice your signature hairstyle in the bottom corner of the picture and that’s it. So you try again, this time you take the photo, but everyone else’s head is cut off. So you settle for the first one and that’s how our senior survival group photo turned out.
But at the end of the day, despite all the short jokes, head pats, and kitchen cabinets, we’re still the ones those giants come to when their long legs prevent them from functioning. So HA!

Dyscalculia: Cannot Compute

Let’s talk about a certain subject that I despise with a passion, so much so that just the thought of it sends me into a mental shutdown, yes ladies and gentlemen I’m talking about math. And for the longest time I thought that it was because I just wasn’t cut out for doing math, and even though I could do everything else with little to no problem, I just couldn’t do math. 
So in 8th grade I decided to try and get to the bottom of this mess (because hello? Basic algebra was hell for me, but it was easy for everybody else), and that’s when I came across a little known learning disorder known as dyscalculia. 

Now I’m pretty sure that almost everybody is familiar with the learning disability (I hate that term) dyslexia right? Well dyscalculia is its lesser known compadre (of sorts). 

While dyslexia is more focused on the reading aspect ( you know, the letters moving, switching around, disappearing), dyscalculia pertains more to math, and the inability to grasp concepts or even understand numbers. 

Now why have I not been professionally diagnosed with dyscalculia even after this long? Because research for the learning disability is almost 30 years behind, possibly due to the fact that only 6 to 7 percent of elementary school kids have the disorder, and, as in my case, because of lack of awareness, both my self-esteem and grades have suffered. 

So how do you know if you have dyscalculia, well, in a world that’s highly dependent on math, the likelihood of it getting diagnosed is slim, but there are a few telltale signs;

  • Using fingers to count instead of using more sophisticated measures. 

For example, I have extreme difficulty solving addition problems and frequently find myself using my fingers (secretly because it’s embarrassing) to solve a basic equation such as 7+9. Either that or I use a calculator. 

  • Having difficulty recalling basic math facts, such as, say, 6+8. 

I can’t remember most of my times tables, due both to the synesthesia and the dyscalculia. 

  • Having trouble setting up math equations and then figuring out how to solve them. 
  • Has trouble identifying analog time.
  • Struggling to understand math related terms (sum, average, greater than, etc.)

While these are just a few of the many symptoms, these are some of the ones I’ve noticed in myself, and truth be told, it’s hard growing up with something that you never knew you had, and being treated like less because of that. 

So do yourself and your kids a favor, try to understand them when they say, “The letters are moving,” or “The notes disappeared off the page”. They’re probably not just making it up, they know better than anyone that something is wrong with them, all you need to do is listen. 

If anyone else deals with this disorder and has coping skills I’d love to hear from them!

Synesthesia:The World as it Isn’t

It’s your trusty reporter, back again with more topics that don’t generally matter to the rest of the world!

This week’s topic is Synesthesia which is a mental disorder that yours truly personally has suffered with for her entire fleeting life. So without further ado, let’s begin.

Synesthesia is a perceptual condition of mixed sensations: a stimulus in one sensory modality (e.g., hearing) involuntarily elicits a sensation/experience in another modality (e.g. vision). Likewise, perception of a form (e.g., a letter) may induce an unusual perception in the same modality (e.g. a color).

To put it bluntly, people with synesthesia are able to “hear colors” or “taste words”, and only about 4% of the population have this condition.I, for example associate the numbers 0-13 with different personality traits, and some are nicer than others. Other people will associate, say, numbers with colors; ex. 6 is green or 4 is purple. For some people maybe certain letters are associated with flavours, it’s different for everybody.

So like I said, my type of synesthesia is one where I associate the numbers 0-13 with different personalities, this type of synesthesia is known as ordinal-linguistic personification. Now, I already have dyscalculia ( which will be saved for a later article) and because that condition had gone so long without having been diagnosed, I have an extreme adversity to anything associated with numbers.

So for me, this is how I view numbers.
0. Is like a background character that you forget is even there; shows up to move the plot along.

1.  More minor character than background; has more screen time than 0; makes the other numbers feel better about themselves.

2. Weakling; gets taken advantage of often by the other numbers; unrequited love is 4.

3. Likes to bully 2; reminds me of those short bullies on t.v; in love with 9.

4. Likes to play the hero a lot; friends with two; hates 9; has to rescue 2 a lot from 3; in love with 8; role model is 5.

5. Everybody’s best friend; does a lot of stupid things; hangs out with 6 a lot; 10 is its dad.

6. Narcissistic; only likes 5; is suspicious of 3.

7. Generally weak; is sympathetic towards 2; annoying; is 3’s lackey; most annoying when combined with itself.

8. Damsel in distress; airhead; constantly bullied by 9; thinks 4 is adorable.

9. Obsessed with 8; also constantly bullies 8; hates 4; once schemed with 7 to try to capture 8; very mean; is a jock.

10. Is 5’s father; tries to solve conflicts; everybody ignores him.

11. Doesn’t like anybody; people like them; is socially awkward.

12. Mother figure; emotional support; is there to calm the other numbers down.

13. Science geek; thinks it’s better than everyone else; shows favoritism towards 4.

The thing about synesthesia is that it’s different for everybody, and because of that, synesthetics with the same traits tend to argue about what means what. Now I’m sure that’s really funny to watch but really frustrating to experience.

So does anyone else have synesthesia? What was your experience with it?

Wisdom Teeth Review

So recently I had my wisdom teeth removed and let me tell you, do it while you’re young and don’t have enough regrets to qualify you for a screenplay of “My Biggest Mistakes™”.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the procedure. I felt little no no pain after the surgery and the days following, the problem lied within the effects of the surgery, starting with the moment I woke up.

Anesthesia:Medicine/Medical. general or local insensibility, as to pain and other sensation, induced by certain interventions or drugs to permit the performance of surgery or other painful procedures.

Anesthesia: One quick ticket to a world where you function on the instinct that you never really possessed in the first place. The instinct to make stupid decisions and feign independence.

Things I did while under the influence:

  1. Nearly ended my life ten minutes after I got out of surgery by stumbling towards the open door of my basement and nearly falling backwards down the stairs.
  2. Made a Facebook post (which I don’t recall) explaining how I felt coming out of surgery.
  3. Kept trying to read a sign with my eyes closed
  4. Texted my friend using some choice words. This I also don’t recall doing.
  5. Kept complaining about how tired I was on snapchat.

Long story short, you will act like an idiot after you get your teeth removed as is only human instinct and we cannot help it.

Do you guys have any of your own wisdom teeth removal experiences? If so what were they?

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