Single and Incapable of doing the Mingle: Valentine’s Day
Posted by Cyan Picard
It’s that time of year again, the time in which candy manufacturers and lobbyists alike band together to make the most cavity-filled, and equally disappointing day of the year second only to Halloween. Yes ladies and gentlemen I’m talking about Valentine’s Day.
Now from a person who actually has a significant other this day might be stressful for a few reasons;
- You have to buy a present for a significant other
- Your significant other might be only using you for your money
- Your money grubbing significant other is picky
- You’re poor
But for us singletons out there we are also faced with a pressing dilemma;
- We’re poor
- Our friends are poor
- People keep buying up all the good candy before it goes on sale
- Gross couple gifts
You get where I’m coming from right?
And while there are a plethora of other reason why it may be stressful I have a equally understandable reasons for as to why IT IS A TERRIBLE HOLIDAY.
- I’m Poor
My excuses are as great as my debt. Being poor is really romantic in theory, but it’s just not realistic. Between always asking people for a dollar so you can buy fifty cent chips, or complaining to your friends about how poor you are to the point of absolute despise, there’s always some part of you waiting for your prince/or princess charming to come and swoop you up and buy you really cheesy gifts. But you’re ugly and poor.
- We’re not in Elementary school anymore
Gosh darn it do I miss when giving valentines to your classmates was required and everybody was included and not sad (
angry monotonous ranting ensues) but what I loved most of all was how it wasn’t about how much money you spent on people, but how much candy you’d be able to eat before your parents took it away.
Now that we’re adults we have developed the idea that we are no longer equal, we have also developed a systematicly oppressive way of categorizing our peers through levels of importance by giving some valentines gifts and giving others dirty looks. Who needs segregation when you can have favoritism!
I shall end my small rant here but if any of y’all singles out there have your own reasons as to why Valentine’s Day absolutely sucks, please leave your comments below.