Anonymous Advocate: Winter Survival

Winter is almost among us New Englander’s, and that means one word for us natives, cancellations, snow. So you’d assume that people who’ve lived here for decades would understand how to accurately prepare for a New England winter, yet, here we are, making a survival guide, for the people who cannot drive, shovel, or prevent themselves from freezing to death whenever we go into a state of emergency. 

  • Get over it, it’s just snow

Contrary to popular belief, a snowstorm isn’t going to end your life. You (most likely) won’t be buried alive and THERE’S NO LOGICAL REASON FOR YOU TO BUY UP ALL THE BREAD AND MILK THE DAY BEFORE. I’m looking at you Market Basket shoppers. 

  • Keep a shovel in your car

Also keep the basic necessities like a jacket, gloves, a hat, boots etc. in your trunk just in case you get stuck in a six hour traffic jam because the people in Massachusetts don’t know how to drive. I’m not saying that your heater won’t work but, like if your battery dies or something, you’re gonna have a blast waiting for help while you count how long it takes for you to lose feeling in your toes!

  • Leave this state

Just go, and take me with you.

  • Buy salt

Like the kind of salt that you spread on your driveway, but I think regular salt will work too? It’ll help get you out of slippery situations. 

  • Be aware of your surroundings

Do not and I repeat Do not shovel in the middle of the street, stay in your lane. Also look out for black ice, if the road seems shiny and it hasn’t rained,or if it has rained and the temperature is in the low thirties high twenties, there’s most likely going to be black ice. 

  • Learn how to drive

It’s snow not rainbow road, stop braking every two seconds. 

And lastly

  • Leave this state stay on your toes 

A rule of thumb in Massachusetts is that you never know what to expect. It could be raining one minute and hailing the next. So be prepared and be safe. 


About slapioneer

The official student newspaper of South Lancaster Academy

Posted on December 2, 2015, in Anonymous Advocate, Lifestyle, Top Stories and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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