Recycled Garbage: Can’t You Tell the Difference?

A new and growing problem has arisen among the SLA students, and that is..garbage recycling! This hip new trend features students throwing their non-recyclable items into the recycling bin, much to the chagrin of the teachers that are forced to suffer with the smell. The students seem to have misunderstood the differences between recyclable, biodegradable, and landfill-worthy.

When asked about the problem, most students replied with, ” I didn’t do that,” “I don’t care,” or the ever popular,” No further comments.” Whilst the complaints of teachers appear to have fallen upon deaf ears, and all efforts to remedy the situation seem to have been for naught. As a last resort, teachers are turning towards some rather, unconventional, methods in hopes that the students will be able to properly discern as to in which receptical their waste belongs.

English/Bible teacher, Scott Fellows, prefers to use the method of “hiding” the trash receptical behind his desk. This approach discourages the faint of heart, as their garbage must remain a constant companion for the duration of the period, too embarrassed to try and locate the waste basket themselves.

While Science instructor, Tish Brahmia, prefers to use the “supply-and-demand” method. This idea combines both the “in-plain-sight” method with the “limited access” approach, by supplying the students with five trash bins spread conveniently through the the classroom, yet only a single blue recycling bin located directly in the center.

Other teachers such as History adviser and struggling artist Jeff Lambert, prefer to use the concept of “less is more” by providing the students with two clearly distinguishable recycling bins, yet only one trash can. This method is presumably used to encourage students to not only refrain from consuming food in his classes but also encourage students to recycle responsibly.

By far the most effective method that has been used is by Pastor/ Bible educator, Jonathan Niño. His approach is to simply restrict all methods of consumption in his class, thus preventing the waste produced in his class by a considerable amount.

But while all these methods have been put in place to prevent this problem from continuing on, for the most part they’ve remained unsuccessful. Evidence shows that this trend continues to grow at a rapid pace, and experts predict that this, what can only be described as “manifestation”, can largely be contributed to by lack of proper education. And despite all efforts to civilize the students, the impending threat of smelly hallways and putrid classrooms due to the permeation of decomposing waste, continues to plague the halls of SLA. So please, remember to drink recycle responsibly.

This message has been paid for by the Journalists of the SLA Pioneer, and from the support of readers like you.

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Posted on May 5, 2015, in Top Stories and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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