Why I Don’t Leave My House on Black Friday
Next Friday, I am going to be at home in my pajamas. Probably watching Lord of the Rings; maybe eating an entire bag of candy corn by myself. But that doesn’t matter. The point is that I’m not going to be shopping.
There are several reasons for this; most of them stemming from my unfortunate lack of faith in humanity. For one, there are a million better things I could be doing (literally a million, I’m not exaggerating). Secondly, the traffic is generally horrendous. But the highest reason on the list is probably that, at the moment, I value my life and would really, really like to not die.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you haven’t been paying attention to the news. When Black Friday rolls around, people immediately transform into animals. If I believed in evolution (which I most certainly do not) I would say that with the way Black Friday has been going in the past few years, we may possibly be going backwards in evolvement. People running around, screaming, grabbing things out of other human beings’ hands, that’s really not an acceptable way for anyone to act. At all. Children have better decorum than this.
In addition, people have died! I really have a hard time imagining that funeral. Because real, actual human lives were taken the day after Thanksgiving. In the name of shopping.
So in conclusion: God bless America. Also, if you (unlike myself) are planning to step foot out of your front door this Friday… just be nice. Because at the end of the day, it starts with us.
What are your reasons for shopping (or not shopping) on Black Friday?
See the video that inspired this rant here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hm0bxsFVlss
Posted on November 20, 2014, in Lifestyle, News, Top Stories and tagged black friday, black friday sales, blimey cow, blimey cow black friday, lord of the rings, messy mondays, messy mondays black friday, Thanksgiving, why im not leaving my house. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.